How to Make Friends in a Hostel – Tips From a Backpacker
Before I went on my first solo trip, there was one thing I worried about constantly – how to make friends in a hostel.
Although I’m not overly shy, I do find it difficult approaching groups of strangers, and I was afraid that my fear of approaching new people would stop me from making friends in hostels.
However, what I VERY quickly discovered, was that you are never really alone when you travel, even though you may be travelling alone!
I stayed in a hostel for the first time in 2015, and have stayed in hundreds of hostels since then – I’ve even worked in several hostels!
What I’ve learned, after almost a decade of hostel experience, is that making friends in hostels is SO EASY, and there are some really simple ways to do it, even if you’re shy like me!
In this article, I want to put your mind at ease about meeting people as a solo traveller, and teach you how to make friends in hostels.
I’ll talk about how to break the ice with other solo travellers, how to approach groups of people in hostels, and where the best places in hostels are to meet new people!
So, if you’re ready to conquer your fears and make some hostel friends, just keep reading.
How to Make Friends in a Hostel
Hostels vs. The Real World
If you’ve never stayed in a hostel before, the thought of walking up to a group of strangers and asking if you can hang out with them sounds insane.
Chances are, if you’re sitting in the park with a couple of friends and a random person asks to join, you would be more than a little creeped out, right?
Making friends in the real world can be tough, but in a hostel, things are totally different.
Social norms (to an extent) go out of the window, and it is completely acceptable to strike up a conversation with someone and ask to join their group.
Nobody will think you’re a weirdo if you do this, I promise.
People who stay in hostels are generally open to meeting new people, and for the most part, hostels are judgement-free zones.
It doesn’t matter if you weren’t the popular kid at high school – in hostels, everyone is equal, no matter their differences, and making friends in hostels is super easy.
I wrote an in-depth guide to staying in hostels if you’re a total newbie and want to know more about hostel life in general, but for now, just know that it is much easier to make friends in hostels than in the real world.
I met all of these girls in my hostel.
How to Make Friends in a Hostel
1. Smile!
If you’re shy, you might find yourself avoiding eye contact with people, but if you make an effort to smile, you’ll find that people will end up approaching you!
If you make eye contact with somebody in your hostel, just smile and say hello!
A super easy time to do this is when you’re moving into your dorm. If there’s anyone in the room when you enter, give them a quick ‘hello,’ and you’re done!
Nine times out of ten, the person will strike up conversation with you by asking where you’re coming from or introducing themselves, essentially doing the rest of the work for you!
2. Sit in busy areas
It sounds obvious but if you want to make friends in a hostel, you’re not going to do it by hiding away in your dorm bed.
Most hostels have some sort of common area, so just go and sit in it!
Say hello and introduce yourself to whoever is in there, or if it’s empty, just hang out until somebody comes in!
Remember to make sure you aren’t staring at your phone the whole time because people will assume you want to be left alone.
3. Break the ice
If you’re wondering how to make friends in a hostel, the quickest way is to ask a random question to break the ice.
You could ask someone for the WiFi password, or if something fun is happening at the hostel later.
Something that I always do is ask somebody if they know of a good place to eat nearby.
Often, they will say something along the lines of ‘I’m hungry too actually – mind if I join?‘ and BAM, you’ve made a friend!
Even if they don’t want to join, you’ve now broken the ice so that the next time you see them in the hostel, you can start up a conversation.
I’ve met tonnes of people this way, and it’s always been my go-to.
4. Ask to join a group
This is definitely the most difficult way to approach people if you’re travelling alone, but if you’re brave enough to do it, it’s pretty much guaranteed to work.
This is best done in the evening, when people are likely to be drinking and being social.
Head to the hostel bar or common room, and if there is a crowd of people chatting or playing a drinking game, just ask if you can join them!
This is a perfectly normal thing to do in hostels and nobody will think anything of it – they’ll just tell you to grab a chair and probably offer you a beer!
Pro tip: a good way to gauge whether a group is worth approaching is to quickly assess the dynamics. The two girls having a serious chat in the corner of the room may not be the best choice, but the large group of differing ages and nationalities is perfect – chances are, they only just met as well, and will be more than happy for you to join!
5. Make use of the free breakfast
Many hostels provide free breakfast, which is a great way of meeting people in hostels.
Just find a table with a few spaces, sit down and say hi! You could also ask a random question to break the ice like we discussed earlier, such as how to use the coffee machine, or where they got their cutlery from (if it isn’t obvious).
Even if you only end up exchanging small talk, it still paves the way for further interaction later in the day.
6. Get involved!
Most hostels organise events that are aimed at getting people to socialise.
Party hostels tend to have things like beer pong tournaments, drinking games, booze cruises, and pub crawls, while quieter hostels might organise movie nights, family dinners, or barbecues.
Usually, you can also book excursions through your hostel, which guarantees that other hostel guests will be on the same tour as you.
I highly recommend getting involved in whatever event is going on at your hostel (even if it isn’t something you fancy!), as you are guaranteed to meet tonnes of people who are also keen to make hostel friends!
7. Choose your hostel wisely
Whenever I’m booking a hostel, I always read the reviews on the website and look for those that mention a good atmosphere, or sociable vibe.
I’ve been to hostels where people just keep to themselves, and where there isn’t any kind of common area or event schedule – these hostels make it challenging, if not impossible, to meet other travellers.
If you love to drink (or don’t mind being around people who do), party hostels are always very sociable, and they usually have staff members whose job is to get everyone socialising and having fun. Party hostels tend to have group events every night, and attract the kind of travellers that love meeting new people.
You can also look at the social media profiles of hostels that you’re considering. If a hostel has a lot of pictures of people socialising, chances are that this is a hostel that prioritises this.
8. Relax!
Finally, and most importantly, relax!
Sometimes, the the worst happens, and you’ll end up in a hostel where nobody wants to socialise.
There might not even be any other guests – this happened to me in Sighisoara, Romania!
Unfortunately, it happens.
But guess what?
It isn’t the end of the world!
Just suck it up, find something to do on your own, and have faith that you’ll meet people at your next destination!
Making Friends in Hostels | Final Thoughts
So, there we have it – my best advice on how to make friends in hostels!
The biggest thing to remember is not to stress about what people might think – nobody will think you’re weird if you say hello, or strike up a conversation with them. It’s totally normal, and chances are, they wanted to do the same thing but were too shy!
If you’re going to be staying in hostels a lot while you travel, you might find my other articles helpful:
How to Meet People While Travelling
How to Volunteer at a Hostel
Staying in Hostels: What to Expect, Hostel Etiquette, and More
Worldpackers vs. Workaway
Solo Travel Do’s and Don’ts
Benefits of Travelling Alone
The Truth About Backpacking Alone as a Woman
Tips for Dealing with Travel Burnout
Pet Peeves of a Backpacker
That’s all I’ve got for today, but if you have any questions about staying in hostels or making friends in hostels, please reach out and ask in the comments below, and I promise I’ll get back to you!
Until next time,
XOXO
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You will absolutely make friends in just about every hostel you stay at as long as you are not the only guest staying at the hostel. That can be the case in some destinations, but a hostel all to yourself also has its advantages. If making new backpacker friends is a main part of your travel plans stay on the popular backpacker gap year circuits
The only way you wouldn’t make friends at hostels that have other guests is if you are one of those people who scare others in hostels.
2 ways you could scare others:
1. Be hyper sensitive of all aspects of sharing space with others and express it by sighing loudly, making up rules and demanding people follow them, knock loudly on toilet door so person in there knows you expect it to always be available when you need to use it and a few more.
2. Never make eye contact and never greet or talk with anybody in your dorm room or other parts of the hostel. Just go about your buisness as if nobody else is there.
Yeah, I’ve definitely encountered a lot of #2s! Some hostels that I’ve been in have had people that clearly want to keep to themselves and ignore any attempt at communication, but those people are definitely in the minority and you’re right – the most popular backpacker hostels are definitely very social!
I’ve also been the only person staying at a hostel on the odd occasion and it’s actually been nice to enjoy a couple of days peace and quiet!
A few years ago, I stayed in a hostel in Skopje where I was the only guest for half of my stay and one of two for the other half. It was amazing. The owner was very nice as well. He had a few single rooms so he put me in one of them for my stay instead of the big dorm, which I hadn’t paid for. He also checked up on me a lot, since I was there alone.
This is super useful information. When I did the two-week, four country trip I worried I’d feel lonely, but the only place I was alone was in Macedonia and it was because I was the only guest at the hostel. I did, however, meet a really nice guy who lived there who showed me around a bit. He was the volunteer who fed the stray dogs and I’d asked about how they’re cared for. The only other time was at first in Sofia, Bulgaria. And that’s because I was working while I was travelling, so the first day I spoke to no one because I wanted to get the project done. After that, I approached people and made friends. 🙂
Yeah, the odd occasion that I’ve had the hostel to myself I’ve ended up making friends with the hostel owners and having a great time! Hostels are the best 😀
I love this! I have stayed in many hostels and I definitely think the key is involving yourself in all of the social events! Hostels have them pretty much every night and it’s the best way to meet people! I have done pub crawls, movie nights, day hikes and way more! Everyone is usually really friendly and open to meet people on these types of things.
100%, I looooove all of the different events that hostels put on!
I have never stayed in a hostel ,but idea of making friends with strangers always fascinated me..may be someday ..thanks for sharing useful tips
Yes, I’ve made so many friends in hostels, some of whom became my best friends! You should definitely try out a hostel one day 🙂
awesome tips!! love staying in hostels this is so helpful!
thanks!