When you’ve been on the road for a while, you start getting asked a lot of the same questions about travelling by people who have chosen not to spend their lives living out of a backpack.
And that’s to be expected.
It’s natural for people to be curious about those with totally different lifestyles than them.
Trust me – I have a million questions about what it’s like decorating a house or living with a screaming baby or what an absolute bitch Sandra from the office is being lately.
That’s not sarcasm either. I mean it.
And so I understand why people have questions about travelling for me.
However, some of these travel questions, no matter how well-intentioned, get old very quickly.
Sometimes, without thinking, people can come across as pretty condescending, and even downright offensive!
What’s more, some of the questions about travelling that we wanderers get asked are just impossible to answer. It’s not that we don’t want to answer you – it’s just that we really have no idea how to!
So, without further ado, here are 9 questions about travelling that annoy backpackers like me!
P.S. this article is supposed to be a bit of fun – please don’t take it too seriously!
9 Questions About Travelling that ANNOY Backpackers!
1. How many countries have you been to?
For the most part, we know that this question is meant without any malice.
People who don’t travel so much often hear that I’ve been travelling for over 5 years and ask me how many countries I’ve seen in that time, assuming that I must have seen the whole world!
If asked in this way, then this question isn’t annoying. It’s just something that I can’t answer off the top of my head because I don’t count countries.
This question becomes annoying when it’s asked by a fellow traveller who is only asking because they want to tell me how many countries they’ve been to.
Travellers are often weirdly competitive, and they think that boasting a high country count makes them somehow superior.
As someone who travels very slowly and often chooses to live and work in one place for a while, I’ve probably been to far fewer countries than you might imagine, which isn’t a big deal to me, but a lot of country counters end up viewing themselves as superior to me in some way, which is annoying.
2. When will you settle down?
We might not!
For people who dream of getting married, buying a house and having a nice car and a dog, the idea of not wanting to ‘settle down’ is alien to them, but for many long term travellers, we view ‘settling down’ as more of a prison sentence than a fairy tale!
Sure, I’d like to have a nice home as a base, and I’d love to fall in love and get married one day but it’s definitely not the be all and end all for me, and if I do end up doing those things then you can bet I’m not going to be what you’d call ‘settled!’
Most long term travellers will always be travellers at heart – it’s just what we are.
Our travel styles may change over time, but many long term travellers will never ‘settle down’ in the traditional sense, and why should we?
This question is annoying because it presumes that we will eventually change our ways and live just like you one day.
And maybe we will.
But you shouldn’t assume.
3. What’s your favourite country?
That’s so impossible to answer!
Do I say Spain because I’m currently living in Valencia and loving it, or Poland because I spent so long volunteering there and getting close to Polish people?
Do I say Albania because it surprised me more than aywhere, Morocco because it was different to anything I’d ever known, Montenegro because it was beautiful, or Ukraine because it was so quirky?
There are so many countries I have fallen in love with, for so many different reasons, and it would be impossible to single out just one.
This isn’t an annoying question, it’s just one of those questions about travelling that are impossible to answer!
4. Where will you be in 5 years?
Again, this is one of those travel questions that I just don’t know the answer to!
Most travellers hate long term planning.
We don’t even know where we’ll be next month, never mind in 5 years from now!
Just like some people are commitmentphobes when it comes to relationships, we’re commitmentphobes when it comes to making and sticking to plans.
We’re drifters, preferring to go wherever the wind takes us, and the thought of being tied down to a specific place or schedule terrifies us.
Que sera, sera.
5. Aren’t you going to be too old soon?
Of all the questions about travelling on this list, this one is just straight up rude.
If you don’t see how this question could irk us, just imagine me glancing at your shiny engagement ring and lovely new home and saying ‘aren’t you a bit young for all this? Do you really want to be so boring while you’re still young’
That’s exactly how we feel when we get asked this question. It all just feels a bit judgy and condescending.
If long term travel has taught me anything, it’s that you’re never too old to travel.
If you think that being too old to travel is a thing then just speak to Sherrill, a 70-something woman who travels around Europe and Africa doing volunteer work or Lesley, who went skydiving for her 65th birthday and got drunk with me in hotel bars all around Poland. Maybe you could speak to Paul, my 66 year old friend who I went sailing with in Mazury, or…you get the gist.
I’ve met tonnes of older travellers, and none of them are slowing down anytime soon.
After all, age ain’t nothin’ but a number (unless it’s R Kelly saying it).
6. Don’t your family miss you?
This is another of those travel questions that just seems very judgemental, while also happening to be none of your business!
FYI, my family love me so they’re happy that I’m happy.
They know that travel is all I’ve ever wanted to do, and so they’re pleased for me.
Of course they miss me – I’m not a monster – but overall they’re happy that I’m living my dream, and when I do see them, it’s often for an extended period of time, often a month or more, so we spend quality time together.
To be honest, even if my parents did disapprove of my lifestyle, I wouldn’t stop travelling.
I only get one life, and if I can finance it myself and I’m not hurting anyone, then why shouldn’t I live it how I like?
7. When will you get a real job?
I’m only going to say this once – not only 9-5 office jobs qualify as ‘real’ jobs.
This is one of those questions about travelling that is just really bloody offensive.
Whether we are content creators, freelancers, digital nomads, volunteers or people who take on seasonal jobs, all work is real work.
I’ve done a bit of everything.
Right now, this blog is my main job, and I also have a dating blog.
In the past I’ve done other kinds of content creation, freelance writing, English teaching, hostel work, bartending, promotion work and much more.
I consider every one of these jobs to be a ‘real’ job, and so should you.
8. How do you afford to travel?
While this does feel invasive, I understand that most people with questions about travelling, simply want to know how they can do the same as me.
The answer to this is simple: I work hard and spending my money on what matters to me (travel).
I don’t have a car, a phone contract or other expensive outgoings.
I don’t have a trust fund, I don’t have a sugar daddy (yet) and I’m not a drug dealer. I didn’t invest in Bitcoin back when it was a dollar and I’m not at the top of a pyramid scheme.
I am the girl who will turn down a night out because I refuse to pay the £30 taxi fare home, choose restaurants based on their weeknight deals and never treat myself to new clothes or books.
I spend my money on travel.
It’s really that simple.
9. Are you not scared to travel to Cambodia/Albania/Kosovo?
You guys. If I was rocking up in Syria with dreams of marrying an ISIS fighter, you’d be right to be worried (and angry – very angry).
However, there is a difference between actual concern and prejudice.
If you’re worried because I’m travelling to an actual war zone then fair enough, but if you’re only ‘worried’ because you think that all Albanians are gangsters, that’s not cool.
You might be surprised to find that most of the places that you have concerns about are actually a lot safer than the UK.
Yep, that’s right – many of these so-called ‘dangerous’ countries are actually ranked safer than the UK according to the Global Peace Index.
Poland, Romania, Bulgaria and Slovakia are all way safer than the UK, yet that hasn’t stopped people from warning me not to go!
The world is not as scary as we think it is, and only through travel can we see the world as it really is, rather than through the lens of the mass media. As an extension of this point, travelling as a solo female is not as scary as you think either, I promise!
9 Questions About Travelling that ANNOY Backpackers | Final thoughts
So, that just about brings me to the end of annoying travel questions!
I’m sure there are plenty more, but these are the ones that continue to irk me, and with good reason (in my opinion at least).
And now, I want to hear your thoughts – do you agree with me, or do you think I’m being unfair?
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below, as well as sharing your own questions about travelling that you find irritating!
Until next time, XO
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I loved this article – particularly the R Kelly reference 🙂
The types of questions I dislike most are ones that imply the asker thinks there is something wrong with me.
One of the most recent ones is
“Why do you go off by yourself in the middle of winter to places like that?”
The truthful answer to that would have been “I get privacy when I go off by myself. Nobody will be asking me to justify and explain what I do and who I am. Nobody will be trying to compete with me and nobody will be expecting me to entertain them”.
Another dislike I have are argumentative questions.
A recent example is from another backpacker in a hostel. I had said that in a certain country there are a lot of police checks on the night busses which makes travelling at night there a pain. The backpacker demanded to know if I had been to that country. If he had asked in a different tone I would not have minded explaining. As it was, I had to force myself to control my tone when I answered. Hiding the irritation is a very wearing aspect of being around people who ask too many questions.
Another awful question type happens after somebody is getting some facts wrong and I point out what the information really is and their response is “Oh, did I offend you?” Well, that is a tangent I don’t want to go off on especially since whether a person is offended or offensive has so many judgements put on it.
Having said that, not all questions are annoying. Questions that are asked respectfully by people who do in fact want to know the answers are generally ok.
In those situations I don’t mind explaining where I get the money, whether a woman should avoid India, how the stuff in the news affected me in whatever place….
Yes, I totally agree that tone is everything! There’s a huge difference between somebody genuinely asking out of a desire to learn and somebody being snarky, judgemental or argumentative. Luckily I don’t come across the latter too often! Thanks for commenting again! 🙂